Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Season Two – Johara
15 Years Later
I re-read the end of the letter again,my fingers trembling.
Johara, when my eyes close,it is your face that appears before me,when I awaken, I miss you. All I ask for is another chance. A fresh start. A new morning after the storm of our lives. Let the past fade behind us,like leaves in the wind,which fly away,gone without a trace. Yes our past can never not be a part of us and he will always be too. But let the scars we carry,become our signposts,which guide us to better choices,we make our choices Johara and then our choices make us. And believe me,if I had to rewind everything, I would still choose you,a hundred times,I’d choose you. I’m not perfect,nor are you,we’re flawed and full of sins and faults but in our own imperfect way,we’re perfect for each other. We don’t have any ordinary relationship,ours is nikah. A sunnah of the Ambiyaa AS since Adam AS, just one chance Johi, and we can try to make it a reflection of the bond between Nabi SAW and Khadijah Kubra RA,between him AS and Aa’isha Siddiqa RA.
I wiped away a tear. I felt like someone had pulled the carpet from under me. Our choices make us…the words lingered with me. I thought of everything that had brought me to this point,sometimes we don’t have a choice. I recall that night clearly,the night my life changed completely. The night that we were returning home from our plantation,and the car broke down. On the way,we stopped at a farm where we stayed the night with the kind family,bored and restless,I opened my mother’s diary for the last time and learned more about her than I ever wanted to know. Sometimes my mind would slip away into the past and I would remember it more clearly than something I did last week. Before I allowed the past to consume my thoughts completely, I looked once again at the letter in my hand.
Life is not about selfish love ,but it’s wanting happiness in both lives for the one who is precious to you. After what happened that day, I thought I could never forgive you but when you love,you forgive,that’s it. I hope you forgive me too for how I reacted,I’m sorry.
What is the most special thing about you,is the way you have clung to Deen. You are who I want to be,you are the better version of me. Yes,everything is not perfect,nor will it be but whatever you bring to the table,I’m there for you,we can handle it together. As long as there’s a together.
Since I cannot be with you and can’t embrace you,know that every single day and night,in the heart of the night,I send duas your way,to wrap you in it’s warmth and heartfelt wishes. All I want is a chance.
in this world,on the fields of mahshar and in Jannah InshaaAllah,may our knot of love be tied firmly
And with the smallest trace of vulnerability, he scribbled at the corner.
Hadith 1: Intention
Umar ibn Al-Khattab reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
إِنَّمَا الْأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّةِ وَإِنَّمَا لِامْرِئٍ مَا نَوَى فَمَنْ كَانَتْ هِجْرَتُهُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ فَهِجْرَتُهُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَمَنْ كَانَتْ هِجْرَتُهُ لِدُنْيَا يُصِيبُهَا أَوْ امْرَأَةٍ يَتَزَوَّجُهَا فَهِجْرَتُهُ إِلَى مَا هَاجَرَ إِلَيْهِ
Verily, deeds are only with intentions. Verily, every person will have only what they intended. So whoever emigrated to Allah and His Messenger, then his emigration is for Allah and His Messenger. Whoever emigrated to get something in the world or to marry a woman, then his emigration is for whatever he emigrated for.
Source: Sahih Bukhari 54, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
“Innamal a’amaalu bin niyaati wa innama li kull imri’in ma nawaa” “Indeed actions will be judged by their intentions.”