Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
i take your name,
and send salaam your way,
i who has ,for too many days,
played this game,
the world and it’s net, has enslaved me
SallallAllahu alal habeebi,
and sometimes i think,perhaps
if i had to see,
that beautiful green dome,
under which you rest,
then my heart,can find it’s way home.
SallalAllahu Alan Nabiyyi
I have heard,that even though i may be far apart from you
but if i follow your way,
will bring me closer to you,than the one standing infront of your raudah
If he doesn’t practice on the sunnah
SallalAllahu alar Rasul
reading Salaam on you,
brings this wounded body and broken soul
a solace,a balm,
nothing else,holds that special charm
as Salaat alar Rasul,
I send salutations on you,
as i prepare to fight,
in this battle called life.
SallalAllahu alaihi wa sallam
this chant,my prayer,a protection from every strife.
I turned my head away and closed my diary. I had to avoid eye contact with her, Allah help me.
“Are you okay?” she asked so sweetly,that I was tempted to look up. This was why one day, I heard Zulfikr scold his sister about talking to ghair mahrams in a tone that wasn’t sweet. Forget normal, it had to be
a rough tone, harsh and abrupt. An alluring tone can create an image in the heart that can turn out to be total opposite in reality.
When the pure,honourable wives of RasulAllah SAW, were instructed to speak in a harsh tone to those that came to meet RasulAllah SAW, lest Shaitan takes adavantage of the disease in the hearts of some, then who are we in this despicable age of shamelessness?
I remember Zul scolding his sister with those strong words. I closed my eyes and read durood, I needed the strength not to give in.
“Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire” (Sura Al-Azzab Ayat #32)
“I’m tired,can you leave me alone?” I heard her move away, shaitan quickly attacked me with the thought of her beautiful eyes being filled with tears or her face looking hurt, I could use that to my advantage, I already did and I felt like scum.But that’s not to say temptation had died,not at all.
It was okay to be rude and abrupt in order to escape from haraam, if I was going to be alone with her again, I was just going to ask for trouble. This is why the Qur’an says, don’t come close to zinaa,not don’t commit zinaa. Stay away from all the paths that lead to it, it was tough,very tough, when it was so easy just to tell myself,it was okay to just have a chat with her while i recovered from my terrible injuries but being a Jumah, I felt some guilt and escaped to the comfort of a journal I had asked her parents for. I think I needed to leave, I needed to find Zul. I was at the darkest and lowest ebb of my life. I needed his sunlight.
The car had stalled and we stopped at a farmhouse, mother was inside with Chachi while Chacha fixed the car. I saw a bouquet of bright butterflies,subhanAllah, I chased it but just couldn’t catch them! Engrossed in the easy and simple distractions of my child’s heart, the pain that I was still to feel on further diving into my mother’s diary, seemed like a distant dream.
He paused in his tracks. Looked back at me with raised eyebrows,totally taken aback. Was he more surprised that I had asked his name or because I had addressed him as Aap, a term used only for people deserving respect.
“Wow…I’m lost for words…” He cleared his throat.
“No words needed,just your name.” I gently answered.
“Saleem. And yours?”
“You better go back inside before they come to look for you Seema ji.” We both knew that there would be hell to pay if I was caught talking to a worker.
“Please,not Seema ji,just Seema. See you.”
“I..hope so.” He smiled. I felt a bit odd as I walked back home as the sun’s shadows grew long and the day grew dark. Cars were leaving and the house was emptying, but my heart felt…full. As if a thousand fluttering butterflies had been released in it. I had never felt like this before. I heard myself laugh and talk non stop as if I was on a high..and I was, but it seemed like I was floating. I felt a hand clamp my shoulder. I turned around and everything came crashing down.