If only you knew. Part 1.

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

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“Why are you looking at me like that?Something on my face? Is it because I waxed my upper lip two weeks ago? Dammit, I hate looking in the mirror anymore because I’m just tired of this rat race of being a woman with hormones that are all upside down…and it’s…”

“Stop.  Here, let me look at you.” Let me look at you for once without noticing or searching your face for faults. Why is it that I always see your faults,your flaws?  I keep quiet and study her face silently.

“You’re making me nervous.” Sh says, averting her eyes.Hoping not to be disappointed. Again.

I smile. ” I see, you as you were when you were 9  or 10 years old and the queen of the world.”

She laughs.

“That’s a nice way of saying I was actually a bossy boots.”

“Well that too.” I say wryly.  “But you were so cute and determined and although you could be a total pain in the nose, you were someone who was… fearless… so gutsy at that age… all your teachers and elders were slightly in awe of you, you know that?”

“I didn’t know.”

“Yup,they were. You were the leader of the pack. Any nonsense we got upto,you were the one who gave the master plan on how to get into And out of trouble! ”

She laughs. I can see her thinking of a long ago time.”It seems like ages ago.  I forgot how it was to be so …gutsy and “the leader of the pack” as you say.”

“Yup Miss wonder kid, you were something special. Beautiful then… and beautiful now…”

“Lies.” She turns away.

“Find that girl again. The one with the crooked smile and mischievous smile again. Although,Please! Don’t throw tomatoes and pulp the neighbours windows again! Just find her spirit again.”

“But I thought everyone thought I was a rebellious kid who always just fell short of the bar of ‘has potential’, the one with the big mouth and attitude.”

“Weird that you saw yourself like that. You were sparkly,spiky and spunky but why did your keep only the spiky part?However I think you were super.”

She falls silent.

“Then I got broken.”

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. journeyadmin says:

    Sounds interesting and promising… R we getting more?

    1. InshaAllah, that’s the plan… perhaps a four day story…or more…trying to rise to a challenge to post consecutively by someone respected,let’see if I can take the bait ;

      1. journeyadmin says:

        Sounds like a good challenge… 💕

  2. Humairah says:

    Love your blog. MashaAllah. looking forward to reading more of this story.

    1. JazakAllah khayr Humairah. InshaAllah next post out today

  3. Ummi Muhammad says:

    I knew many a little girl that had that kinda spunk may they always keep it and not lose themselves becoz of watever curveballs life throws them…..

    1. Ameen ameen, may we always find our strength that Allah has gifted us with as fitrah

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