Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Shamsa tiredly threw open her musallah and prayed the last prayer for the day, Esha. After she made salaam , she couldn’t even recall what she had read in her salaah… she sighed. The needle on the clock was crawling towards midnight and she felt a twinge of guilt but she just didn’t have time to read earlier! Did she? With a husband that never helped around the house and was tired himself and kids whom she loved with every fibre of her being but were driving her closer and closer to the edges of sanity and good health. When was the last time she had ever had a full night’s sleep? Or felt that her day was productive? Or felt some concentration in her salaah? She had no idea.
She stood up wearily after her witr was done and began packing the kids toys and collecting the dishes Zuhair had left on the sink. As she turned towards the cupboard to pack away the clean dishes, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror… and she looke ten years older than she actually was. Something had to change!! I didn’t sign up for this! She remembered the beautiful bride she once was, in her peach hued gown and deliriously happy, picturing a fairytale future, now if she even had energy to comb her hair ,it was a miracle.
She wanted her spark back! But how ? Where? When? If she changed ,the whole house would for sure… she was the queen of the house as her Apa had told her many times but all she felt like was a human vacuum.
She quietly opened her room door,only Zuhair’s snores punctuating the silence and checked over Salma, peacefully asleep in her cot. Why couldn’t she be so angelic when awake! But Salma was just a baby and acting like one. I need to have the energy to cope…maybe I won’t be so angry and frazzled all the time then…
As she tiptoed to her bed, she felt something hard under her foot and bit her lip, stifling her pain. Bending down, she found a tasbeeh…a pretty brown , not very fancy tasbeeh that her niece had gifted her when she went for umrah.
” The kids probably were playing with it all this time. When last did I ever use a tasbih?”
Not that it is sunnah or compulsory to use one…But it was the practice of the Sahaba RA to keep track of their zikr on date seeds and the pious also used a tasbih. The object was not to appear pious but to create a system in ones life. To make zikr a regualar and solid practice. Nabi SAW said that the most beloved actions to Allah are the most constant even if it is little. If you want that super human energy in your life and the ability to carve out something special in your life? Make your zikr after fajr and before Maghrib and read tasbih fatimah after every salaah. If it doesn’t change your life, you can come back and tell me… the daily zikr we should do is… 3rd Kalima, for it is full of the glory of Allah, Istighfaar because we always need to be humble and seeking forgiveness and Salawat alar Rasul, because without him SAW being our Prophet, how many blessings would we be deprived of? Start with the amount you can manage,but stick to it. That’s the main thing. Using a tasbih won’t make you pious but using it as your spiritual tracker,will. No matter what’s your occupation, doctor,lawyer, teacher,mother,wife or child, reading zikr daily with concentration will change your life. InshaAllah
Shamsa smiled as she recalled her ustadh’s words from long, long ago. And before her eyes closed she read tasbih Fatimi. ( 33 times SubhanAllah, 33times Alhamdulilah and 34 Allahu Akbar)
Two Months Later…
I watched the sun rise and paint the sky with a peach promise of a brilliant day. From that night, I always made after fajr my me time where I connected with my Allah. I found it beautiful that I could start the day by praising Him. It Did give me energy not to topple into bed as soon as I made salam after the dawn prayer and so I got an early start on my chores and cooking. By the time the kids and Zuhair were up, I was in a good mood. It motivated me to make my family make zikr a part of their lives too, we’re happier than before ,more spiritual and we all slept earlier and that made a huge difference too. Zikr is the fuel that you need to keep your head above water and swimming with ease. It has changed my energy levels and my life.
Try it and see the dif, inshaAllah